Chaos. Stress. Inevitably, we all experience both during our lifetimes at one point or another. Staying calm is key to working through adversity.
How do some people manage to stay calm during chaotic situations? There are those that naturally handle pressure well. They seem to have been born with that “calm” gene. Although most people are not fortunate enough to be equipped with that natural forcefield, they can learn how to stay calm in chaos. Here are six ideas to help:
- Do not Panic
Easier said than done, right? Chaotic or stressful scenarios can sneak up on us when least expected.
Here is a true story that occurred early in my career as an executive assistant: One day, my boss literally ran down the hall bellowing my name arriving at my desk in a panic. He explained he had been tasked with presenting to the CEO in the next half hour, with no presentation in hand. Try as he might not to show panic, the angst was seeping out of his pores.
I said to him calmly, “Let’s get to it then.” His stressed energy was palpable as he stood behind me while I worked. In a matter of twenty minutes, we prepared a document as he peered over my shoulders. Data transferred from his brain to mine, to the computer and then to the printer, in perfect timing. The boss took the document from the printer “hot off the presses” and said, “Thank you!” as he ran back down the hall.”
As I watched him sprint, I said seemingly to myself, “You’re welcome.”
After his successful presentation, he returned to my desk and sat in my guest chair to decompress. He asked me how I managed to stay calm during that intense half hour. I told him that if I had panicked and had been unable to remain calm, the pressure he was applying would have resulted in a failure for the both of us. Crisis averted.
This was a self-discovery moment. I learned that I handle pressure well. I do not panic. I attribute the ability to handle pressure to my general optimism. This “can do” mentality took control to get through this chaotic scene.
Losing your head in a crisis is a good way to become the crisis. ~ C.J. Redwine
- Breathe, just breathe.
Meditation. Wait, don’t go! Meditation does not require setting up a soundproof room with an altar, a large Buddha and sandalwood incense. Meditation does not take hours out of the day to accomplish. You can meditate anywhere at any time and for a small amount of time to reap calming benefits. Simple breathing exercises do wonders to help alleviate stress. Studies have shown that in the minutes after meditating (or just call it breathing exercises, if you like) people experience feelings of calmness.
Further, scientists have proven that meditation has many benefits for the body and mind. Link to this article for an in-depth look at one study. An intriguing excerpt from the article reads: “Researchers from several universities explored whether meditation might bring about structural changes in brain tissue. Using MRI technology on 20 practitioners, the results showed these people had a greater volume of brain tissue in the prefrontal cortex.” This region of the brain is involved in a wide variety of functions including: the ability to ignore external distractions, the organization of emotional reactions, focus, intricate planning and decision making. Sign me up! I want a bigger brain, don’t you?
I recommend taking just five minutes to start practicing breathing exercises. Find a quiet spot. Someplace you won’t be interrupted. You can play soft music or put earplugs in for complete quiet, whichever your preference. Set a timer and sit comfortably with your eyes closed. Breathe. Listen to your breath, focus on your breath. Start by breathing normally. Then, shift to inhaling until your lungs fill all the way, then slowly exhaling completely. Continue focusing and listening to your breath for the time allotted on your alarm. Your mind will wander; it’s natural. Just bring your focus back to your breathing.
That’s it! Do this a few times a week to start. I wager you will reap the calming benefits and continue the practice.
- Relax. With purpose.
In times of unexpected stress, the body’s natural response is to tense up. Even worse for some: freeze up. Knowing how to relax the body during times of chaos using methods such as the breathing techniques can be helpful. Recognize that the body is tense, then do what is necessary to relax. Likely your shoulders have found their way close to the head as if they were huge earrings. Actively push those shoulders down and back. Elongate your neck, reaching for the stars with the top your head. Then, stretch your neck to each side, back and forth. Breathe. This purposeful action can help a person prepare to work through the stressful situation, much like an athlete prepares his or her body just prior to the big game.
Other things to consider for purposeful relaxation:
- Unplug from technology. Put the device down for a while. You can catch up later.
- Take breaks from work. American society has historically deemed we must work from sun up to sun down. This mindset is changing, thankfully, for our health and wellbeing.
- Take a relaxing walk. Get out of the house or office and enjoy nature for a little while.
- Getting good restorative sleep (7 to 8 hours) is imperative for clarity of mind and the ability to have good judgement.
- Empower yourself. Be in control
Like purposeful relaxation, empowering oneself to act is vital to work through stressful or chaotic situations. Particularly, for those times there are others involved in an emergency situation. One must first help themselves before they can help others.
Example: Mr. and Mrs. Freddy and Laura Becker are “polar” opposites. Freddy frets about everything. Fretting is in Freddy’s genes, having come from an extensive line of naturally anxious people. When faced with a chaotic or stressful situation, Fretting Freddy freezes.
Conversely, Laura tackles stressful challenges head-on. Does she tense up? Sure. But, she realizes that she must act and take control to mitigate chaos. Laura is also the optimist of the family. Unlike Freddy, who looks at life with a “glass half empty” outlook, Laura’s positive mindset gives her a head start in empowerment, confidence and controlling an adverse situation.
Moral of this fictional short story: To help those who cannot help themselves in a chaotic situation, one must empower themselves to take the lead.
Calmness is the cradle of power ~ Josiah Gilbert Holland
- Planning ahead
Having a plan in place for the all-too scary “what ifs” is imperative. Families must create and practice emergency plans in case of disaster. Think about what could happen and hold a family meeting to discuss as a group what each family member would do. Each person should have a clear understanding of their responsibility in case of emergency. This is especially important should a crisis occur when the family is not together. Ensuring each person has their own individual plan is vital to control a crisis. Contact information should be readily available. This could be contacts in the smartphone, or a sheet of paper tucked in the wallet with names and numbers in case of emergency. Planning in advance as well as practicing plans periodically can be life-saving.
Here is a real example of how having a plan in place for a natural disaster is pivotal. My family lives just outside Houston, Texas. This entire region is flat and barely above sea level. We are mere 75 miles from the coast which places us in the path of slow-moving tropical storms. These are the worst, because they can generate massive amounts of rainfall. Maybe you have heard of the damage done by Tropical Storm Allison in 2001, The Tax Day and Memorial Day Floods of 2016 and, Hurricane Harvey in 2017. We were affected by each event.
We had just purchased our home a year prior to Allison’s arrival. That storm dumped rain for hours and rising waters came literally inches from the door. The experience was daunting enough to prompt us to purchase flood insurance, even though the property isn’t in a floodplain. We paid that premium every year with no catastrophic event to warrant a claim until Memorial Day 2016. We were grateful to have the insurance, because our house took on twelve inches of water. We prepared as much as we could in advance. I had bags packed with clothes, important documents, medications and everything needed for our two dogs in case we needed to evacuate. Hoping we wouldn’t need to, but prepared if we did.
Then, it happened. The creek behind our property came out of its banks. I watched the water eerily move toward us. If you know anything about flash floods, you know how fast that water can move, and the damage it can cause in a matter of minutes. Watch this short video. The creek water was coming and there was nothing we could do about it. Except, put our plan in place. We turned off the electricity to the entire house. We loaded the vehicles with our dogs, our luggage, our most important documents, and we evacuated just in time. Our neighborhood was soon under water. Neighbors had to be evacuated before it was all over. But, we were safe. We had a plan and we executed that plan.
Fast forward to August 2017. Hurricane Harvey affected the entire coast of Texas, and then some. That storm generated fifty-two inches of rainfall in our region. You’ve heard the stories and seen the news coverage, I’m sure. We were experienced and ready for this event. With this much rainfall, we knew that water in the house was imminent. So, we prepared and left in advance of the storm. This time, we had twenty-one inches of rain in the house. But, we were safe.
Planning is crucial to prepare for disaster and the chaos that ensues.
It wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark. ~ Howard Ruff
- Calming products
Avoiding sugary beverages, limiting alcohol intake, breathing exercises, and getting good restorative sleep helps the mind and body deal with stress. There are also products on the market that can help a person keep calm, if necessary.
Essential oils are excellent to aid in calming and relaxation. The use of oils such as Lavender, Jasmine and Ylang Ylang are well known to help with relaxation and calming effects. The most popular way to attain the relaxing benefits of essential oils is aromatherapy. Diffusers are used to vaporize oils, releasing small amounts into the air and inhaled. This is a safe and effective method. Bonus, the diffused oils make the house smell good.
It is important to educate ourselves in the proper use of essential oils. Some oils can be hazardous to pets, for example. There are plenty of resources to learn about essential oils and their health benefits, such as one of my favorites: The Complete Book of Essential Oils and Aromatherapy by Valerie Ann Worwood. Also, understanding that all oils are not created equal is important. Be sure to purchase oils from a reputable company such as your local health store or online merchants who have a proven track record such as Brazen Bee. Many online stores claim to sell inexpensive oils, but cheaper is not better in the case of essential oils.
Herbal supplements such as Valerian Root and Kava Root from the local health store is another option for calming benefits. Chamomile has powerful calming properties. It can be purchased from the grocery store and is a remarkable, natural remedy used for centuries without any adverse effects. Chamomile can be found in tea form as well as pill form and is a safe and practical choice. Lastly, L-Theanine is an amino acid naturally found in green tea, which promotes relaxation without drowsiness; and also has antioxidant properties.
In conclusion
We won’t usually know if we naturally handle pressure well until faced with a chaotic situation. With all the stressors we face during our lifetime, we can learn how to stay calm in chaos. Whether it be work related, emergency scenarios or mother nature’s fury, we can prepare ourselves in advance. Taking charge by thinking about what could happen and planning what you would do is an important strategy. Learning methods to calm our minds and our bodies are key to handling unexpected stress.
Stay calm in chaos.
I really enjoyed reading this article… 5 minutes reading that will empower me for the next 12 hours!
– The quotes summarized well the key message of each point.
– Holistic approach since the advices covered not only the relevance of the self-control but also the planning skills.
– I will just add some humor… So necessary on these days.
Thanks for sharing Barbara..
Thank you for your comments. I’m glad you enjoyed it. Love your addition in trying to stay calm: find humor. Good one.